Life Changes

In life, some things are easier seen after the sun has set. Time must pass before we can rise again and start anew. There are times when the alternative outcome, a plan B or even a plan C, ends up yielding the best result. In the moment, we can never see it – too focused on the elements straying off the path, spiraling out of control. We may not even recognize it a month down the line, after we have begun to regain our footing. Breakthroughs like this take time and a great deal of perspective. I may not be at that point yet, but I sure am working my way towards it!

35 days ago. It has been 35 days. Oh how so much has changed. And how so much in my life would be changing now, had it not happened. Would those changes be for the better? I guess we will never know. That's the thing about life changes, there is always a 'second life' or a 'life that could have been' had the change not happened. I feel as though I am living that life right now, but then again, I still have that feeling. Mentally, I am driving 836 miles towards a whole new life, one where I will coinhabit my dream apartment, find employment with a reputable company, learn the inner workings of the adult lifestyle and finally be at home in the south. In reality, however, I am still at home, driving the same streets I have been on for the past 12 years, working the same summer job I have had since my days on the swim team and going through the same motions as the past 21 years. Am I disappointed? Yes, but not because of my reality, in fact I am actually quite happy with my life right now. I always tend to dwell on the 'could-have-beens', but I am finally starting to break out of that habit, and that might just be the best change yet!

So much is good right now, even with everything that is going on. That "same summer job" that I mentioned, I could not be happier to be back! While, yes, it may seem to others that I am unable to grow up and move on from my swim club job, this place and these people have been my saving grace on more than one occasion! Working there, heck even just being there, brightens my day and helps me to realize how many amazing people are in this world. And this time is also allowing me to pick up new hobbies and reach out to those whom I had lost contact with. My fitness is improving as I have begun to embrace my love of running. My culinary skills are slowly improving with the assistance of my mother. My inner circle of friends is increasing thanks to the world of pen pals. And my motivation to seize every opportunity continues to grow with each passing moment!

While there will always be stray thoughts about the life I could be living right now, I have never been more content with the life I am living right now. In time, more changes will come – I will find a job, an apartment to call my own and maybe even someone to live out life with, but for now, I will take it one step at a time. So as I write this, and the sun is setting, signaling that today has come to a close, I am looking forward to what tomorrow has to offer and to the breakthroughs that are surely on their way!